And I Fell Deeply

"Even the darkest night will end and the sunday will ascent." ~Victor Hugo

Last year, my life was in ruins.

I had to visit two different hospitals near every day of the calendar week. At apex, I'd lookout my grandmother suffering on her deathbed. In the evening, I'd sit beside a shut friend who'd fallen off a edifice, broken his spine, and couldn't fifty-fifty go to the toilet on his own.

All the while, I was toiling in the nighttime every nighttime until the sun rose. I needed to save my career, which was on the verge of consummate failure.

Cipher seemed to be working for me. My life was hopeless. Worse, existence a natural introvert with few friends, I had no one to plough to. I couldn't even find one person to share my burden with.

Every day was a struggle. I would take one step forrad and two steps back. I was stuck. I was losing my strength to inch forward because I realized nix I did would e'er work.

I thought I was destined to be homeless and lone till the day I die (which I thought was not that far off, by the manner). At that place was no way out.

I know things may be hard for you too. Perhaps, similar me, y'all march on to fight the same battle each morning time, merely to terminate up losing every time. You may feel defeated, hopeless, and depressed every dark.

All this frustration and agony drives you lot insane. You wish yous could scream at the top of your lungs and just quit.

Just I got through the darkest time of my life to date. While I'thousand sure a much darker and harder time awaits me, I am non afraid anymore. Even if it comes, I am confident I can smile at it from my center, because now I know, from experience, how to properly deal with it.

1. Don't attempt to stop feeling hopeless in any way, not fifty-fifty by meditating.

If y'all experience defeated and sad, don't force yourself to feel otherwise.

Whatsoever you're feeling is a huge rolling snowball. Fighting it in your head is like trying to stop the snowball by throwing more than snow at it. Instead of stopping information technology, y'all simply make information technology bigger and faster.

Too, you are giving too much importance to your hopelessness if you attempt to fight it directly with your mind. Yous are only feeding into its momentum.

You might think meditation is the primal to feeling better, merely it tin't assistance you numb your emotions. I know, because I'm an experienced meditator and I've autumn into this trap.

When I was struggling, I tried everything to make the hurting go away: walking meditation, observing my emotions and thoughts, focusing on my breath. The result? I felt worse.

Why? When you endeavor to go rid of an emotion, you lot are actually but wrestling with the emotion in your caput.

When you meditate not for the sake of it, but to stop a certain feeling, it'south no longer meditation. It becomes just another vain attempt to suppress your emotions.

2. Engage your mind by doing what'due south fun, non what's right.

Don't dwell on the hopelessness. You need to practice things to go you out of your head and into your body.

And no, y'all are not going to do annihilation purely to suppress your emotions. It doesn't work. Instead, do things considering you like to practice them.

What do you do for fun? What practise you do to relax? What you normally practise when you experience bored?

Don't force yourself to do anything simply considering somebody says it'south salubrious. Non even me. Running is good, no doubt. But what's the signal of forcing yourself to run if you lot detest every 2nd of it?

Discover which activities are fun and engaging to you lot personally. These activities appoint your mind and body the near, and they can take y'all into the nowadays most effectively.

Brand any good for you choice that makes you lot experience better. Watch TV, swallow a footling dark chocolate, play video games, surf the Internet; just be certain to stay away from drugs and alcohol, which will merely brand things worse.

Me? I did things I've never washed before: downloading an addictive mobile game, eating fat foods (in moderation), and reading YA novels (blush).

Balance your life with some truly relaxing "you" time. This is the time where you lot take all expectations off. No self-improvement, no studying, no work, no meditation. Cypher. Just play, and do whatever calls to you. This is what self-care really is.

When you exercise this, you completely disengage yourself from your overwhelming sense of hopelessness. And while the snowball volition notwithstanding roll on in the background, information technology volition stop sooner or later considering y'all won't be feeding into its momentum anymore.

This is how yous really finish resisting your emotions and thoughts. This is how y'all really let get.

iii. Put your worries on paper.

When yous are hopeless and worried, you live in your head. Yous keep reminding yourself of the same hopeless time to come projections again and again.

When your worries exist in thought form, yous can never solve them. Issues look bigger than they actually are. This is why ofttimes we turn a small problem in to a big one.

Only sit down for a moment. Take time and write down all your problems on paper. When you exercise this, you finish dwelling on them considering yous tin physically see them with your eyes. Problems will become real objects you tin analyze and solve hands-on.

And fifty-fifty if a problem nonetheless looks huge, you can now break in downwardly into smaller and easier chunks—something you lot wouldn't be able to exercise in your head entirely.

iv. Create your destiny, starting with your dishes.

Y'all tin can't expect a deus ex machina.

Certain, luck plays a huge part in our lives. But when you are stuck in a heat, you lot have to save yourself. Even if yous can't, you still have to accept action to ask for help. Things volition non miraculously get better on their ain. Dwelling house and sulking is not going to make your seemingly hopeless life whatsoever better.

I sympathize information technology'southward very hard to take action when you experience depressed or frustrated with life. But taking action is your merely way out. The good news is, you are not stuck. Your life isn't hopeless. Yous can actually become up and offset moving again quite easily. Hither'due south how:

Once you've written your worries down, target the easiest problem y'all can solve without much endeavor. To brand things even easier, break that already easy problem into extremely small chunks and work through it one step at a time.

Say you are feeling hopeless about your declining career, just similar I was. Merely as you brainstorm your issues, you find many other piffling problems, such as a faulty computer, a messy room, or fifty-fifty a pile of unwashed dishes.

This is good. For now, forget nearly your career and work on the small problems first.

Why? Considering if you got yourself a good estimator, you may work more efficiently. If you now have a tidy room, you'll exist calmer and more than relaxed. Yous'll sleep better. This gives you more than energy and focus with your career, too.

Truth is, anything you exercise will brainstorm a positive upward cycle. The more trivial (but related) issues you piece of work on, the easier your bigger issues will become. And then take some pressure level off, and merely focus on tackling that one tiny and like shooting fish in a barrel task at mitt.

The Biggest Secret That'll Get Y'all through The Darkest of Times

I am not going to lie. Somewhen, you will confront a challenge that volition be your terminal ane—nosotros all will. Simply likely not this fourth dimension. This volition not be the terminate. Think of all the struggles and hardships you lot've gone through. No matter how vividly painful and traumatic they were, you lot somehow managed to get through.

On the exterior, you lot may look weak and worn-down. But I know that deep within you are a strong soul. And I know that but like before, you volition survive, and yous will become even stronger considering of it, just similar I did.

So don't worry. Don't fifty-fifty worry nearly trying not to worry. Whatsoever happens, just remember the only thing that matters is the process. Ignore the urge to fight your feelings, and focus on finding your ain balance between action and cocky-care.

If information technology helps, remind yourself this daily:

"As long equally I am consistently taking care of myself and taking tiny steps to create positive modify, I volition come out a better and wiser person in the stop."

Then, put all your trust into yourself and in your actions. Believe what y'all do will get you out of this nightmare. This is the biggest secret that will get you lot through the darkest of times.

I trust y'all. And I desire you to trust yourself. When you do, not only will you truly allow go, you will also be able to look at your difficult life and grinning from your heart, because you know victory volition exist yours in the end.

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Source: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-when-you-feel-frustrated-and-hopeless/

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